I remember an interview with Celine Dion, around the time of Titanic's success, in which she stated that it's impossible to have everyone like you. And she would know. In the face of that, however, I've also thought that it's impossible to not want everyone to like you. Who doesn't want to be universally accepted and appreciated? Alack, two inevitables in conflict.
Fortunately for me, I'm getting better, with age, at paying less mind to whether people like me. For example, there's a jerk who works at the recycling center in town. Whenever I roll in on my bike to drop off recycling, he's resting his overweight, lazy self on the back of his pickup. I imagine he eyes me and thinks to himself, "damn long-haired (to be fair, I should cut it) yankee (he's seen my NH plates) and his stupid hippie (recycling) ways."
He has begrudgingly spoken with me a couple of times, usually to point out the station's policies, and I was certainly polite at first, saying "hello, sir", following his directions, and all that. I may have even been tempted to somehow demonstrate that we're not so different, to strike up a conversation. Now, though, I want nothing to do with that self-righteous, working-class identifying layabout.
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1 comment:
What Ms. Dion says is true, but... Did you ever have the experience of discovering a person? Many times in my life I discover someone whom I thought disliked me, actually did not but found me standoff-ish or gruff and that perception colored their behavior toward me.
Often folks feel I am talking down to them when I am being carefully polite and clear. I doubt the "jerk" thinks your recycling ways are stupid, as they create his job. It's probably more "damn long-haired yankee college hippie thinks he's better'n me."
Did you ever introduce yourself and ask his name? As Dale Carnegie taught, "There is no music sweeter to a person's ear than their own name." There is power in a name. It is harder to be rude to a person who calls you by name. You may never like this guy, or he you, but at least you should be able to elicit Southern cordiality through the use of his name.
I don't expect everyone to like me, but I do demand that they treat me with respect.
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