Rug Out the Window

I just found out that the website for The Paris Review has their full interviews for free via pdf. Today I read one with Charles Olson; I didn’t know anything about the guy so I figured it’d be a good place to start. Turns out that in addition to being a notable American poet of the 50s and 60s, he’s also crazy. The interview starts with:

Charles Olson: Get a free chair and sit down. Don’t worry about anything. Especially this. We’re living beings and forming a society; we’re creating a total, social future. Don’t worry about it. The kitchen’s reasonably orderly. I crawled out of bed as sick as I was and threw a rug out the window.

Interviewer: Now the first question I wanted to ask you. What fills your day?

Olson: Nothing. But nothing, literally, except my friends.

Interviewer: These are very straight questions.

Olson: Ah, that’s what interviews are made of.


It gets wilder, and often less coherent, in the rest of the interview. Next I’m gonna read ones with Ralph Ellison and William Faulkner – they’re usually straightforward fellas.

History Books

I finished reading a 10th grade French history textbook, kindly given to me by a social studies teacher at the high school in Landivisiau. We had talked about what’s covered in a US public school’s history course versus one in France – specifically the Cold War – and so he let me have a copy of the 10th and 12th graders’ books.

The 10th grade textbook begins with Ancient Greece and ends with the industrial revolution. Aside form a greater focus on Europe and France, especially France’s “inspiring” other countries to become democratic, I didn’t notice any glaring differences. The French textbook didn’t seem to talk much about the Louisiana Purchase, though I guess it wasn’t a good deal for them and they had a lot going on at home and elsewhere. I think the notable differences will come from the 12th grader textbook, from the end of WWII to today.

Green Mansions

Netflix offers instant viewing for the PBS series: e2 design, about sustainable living and green design. The show’s website also streams episodes, but not all of the first season. So far I’ve watched up to episode four (about building a house out of Big Dig scraps) of season one, and gotten pumped up each time. While I’ve had the itch before, this series really makes me wanna get involved with this sort of thing. Not just as a hobby, though, but in a “go back to school and become a professional” kind of way.

Maybe it just seems so attractive because Brad Pitt narrates the episodes, but I don’t think it’s a feasible option for me. Just yesterday I came up with some American Studies graduate work that I could really get into. I plan to go to graduate school and eventually return to teaching, either at the high school or college level. I guess I just need to remember that I can’t do everything, especially not at once. And that getting excited about something doesn’t mean I should consider it as a career option – even if Brad Pitt wants me to.

Trifocals

I’ve come up with three possible focuses for a graduate program in American Studies:

1. Explore the different forms of narrative in American literature – as well as media and vernacular – and the social and psychological implications of using those forms.

2. Study the major philosophies in American culture, and how literature has influenced and represented them.

3. Look at heroes in American culture, specifically through literature, and the implications thereof.

These are pretty general, though I think it’s good to start that way. Plus, I don’t foresee difficulty in narrowing them down. For starters, I’m mostly interested in 20th Century stuff. But now I need to figure out which focus offers the most fertile fields, instead of worn territory, and who can help me till them.

Japes

It’s my friends’ fault that I’m not funny. They make good jokes and get me going on a certain type of humor, but once left to my own devices I drop the ball. I always think I can imitate their style and it always falls flat. At least I can beat most of them at basketball.

Weight On My Shoulders

There’s a free gym in our housing complex, and since I’ve often wondered what consistent weight lifting is like I decided to give it a try. This is my seventh week of training – going three times a week for about 45 minutes each session, when I do two sets of eleven dumbbell exercises. And I don’t like it.

It’s boring. It’s hard in an unsatisfying way. The radio is usually on a crappy 70s station that drains my spirit. But I want some form of exercise, and a free gym will have to do until I can afford to take MMA classes or go rock climbing or do anything else awesome. Working out like this has also given me more respect for athletes who log hours and hours at the gym. Then again, they get a paycheck to play games.

Loops

Gotta keep reminding myself, cause all those lovely realizations bleed out eventually.

Like swinging a golf club: doing it right once doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way.

Or how I periodically must clip my nails.

We’re not Sisyphus or Prometheus, with sharp moments when the liver’s torn or the boulder tumbles.

There’s no culmination, no shoulders of day to day giants; we just sometimes forget to breathe.

"A Forest of Symbols"

There’s a man with hands tied to a whipping post. The other man whips him, sleeves rolled up. “Ideology” labels the whipper, “language” the whip, and “you” the whipped. Underneath the image, Nadia wrote (among other things):

“I think part of this pathological need to systematize everything comes from living in cities, incidentally. Every single thing around us here has been made by human beings, and has specific human meaning attached to it – so when you look around, instead of seeing the actual objects that are around you, you see a forest of symbols.”

I like this. I’m glad it got me thinking about my tendency to systematize and analyze everything, and the implication thereof. But isn’t that the means by which we think, even on the most basic level?

Animal Collective

I have a lot more patience for people than for pets. Maybe it’s cause I believe our higher mental complexity deserves greater slack, but when I think that through it seems backwards. Shouldn’t higher-level thinking beget greater responsibility, accountability? Pets don’t make conscientious decisions, so why would I act as though they have agency or personality? They don’t do anything on purpose. Or they do everything on purpose, because there’s no weighing out decisions abstractly or in the long-term. They seem to deserve more of my patience than people do, yet maybe it’s because they bring out the animalistic response in me - all chasing, yelling, grabbing, pouncing, and throwing.

Man, I gotta get a job.

Bread and Water

Grocery 1 (2 @ 0.99) : 1.98

Kennebunkport Wheat 6floz for 5.99 : 5.99

Salsa Chunky TJ’s : 2.29

Eggs Brown Extra Large Cage Fr : 2.79
TJ’s Honey Nut O’s Cereal : 2.49
B-Tortilla Handmade! Whole Whe : 2.49
Meatless Bkfst Patties : 3.39
Tamales Grn Chile&Cheese : 1.99
TJ’s Spring Salad Mix : 1.99
Organic Rnd Yellow Tort. Chips : 2.59
Beans Refried Black Beans FF V : 1.29
Organic Black Beans : 1.09
Tomatoes Whole No Salt w/Basil : 1.49
TJ’s Feta : 2.99
Spinach & Chive Linguine Pasta : 1.99
Vege Gyoza : 3.49
Fries Sweet Potato : 2.29
Organic Onions : 2.29
Pasta Whole Wheat Rotelle-Orga : 1.29
R-Strawberries Clamshell : 4.79
5 Layer Dip Small/11.5 oz : 3.99
Agave Organic Sweetner : 2.99
Yogurt Greek Style Plain : 2.49
Whipped Cream Cheese : 1.49
Milk Lowfat 1% Half Gal TJ’s : 1.69
TJ’s Organic Half & Half : 1.49
Pasta Spaghetti : 0.99
La Ferme Julien Rouge : 5.99
Villa Cerrina Montepulciano : 4.99
Eggplant Zucchini Marinated IT : 3.99
Organic Avocados : 4.39
A-Lemons Organic 1# : 2.49
Sliced Multigrain Sourdough : 2.79
Grocery 1 (5 @ 0.29) : 1.45
The Works Bagels : 2.29
TJ Xtra Shrp Wisconsin Cheddar : 3.37

Subtotal : $97.87
State Tax 1 : $2.02
State Tax 2 : $0.85
TOTAL : $100.74
VISA : $100.74

Items 46 - G, Amanda
07-09-2009 05:12PM

Comment Casser une Toilette (Pt. 2)

I managed to open the bathroom door while pinching the broken floater with the other hand. It seemed ludicrously unreal: I was in a foreign country, at a party in the apartment of a girl I’d recently met, with a couple of other friends, at four in the morning on Halloween night, and water had sprayed all over her bathroom cause I’d just broken the toilet and I didn’t know how to fix it.

“Uhh, il y a une problème.” “J’ai…j’ai fait quelque chose.”

The girl whose apartment we were in, whose toilet I broke, came into the bathroom. I explained what I’d done, the problem. She took over the floater pinching duty while I apologized profusely. Maybe she didn’t believe me, or just wanted to see for herself, or maybe my French was so crappy that she didn’t understand a damn thing I said, but she let go of the floater.

All four of the square bathroom’s walls got reblasted. Water rolled down the mirror above the sink. She kind of stood there for a second – we both did – taking it all in as the toilet drenched her. By the time the water began beading at the tips of her hair, she got her wits back and reached for the valve next to the toilet to cut off the water supply. That solved the pinching problem.

Name That Novel

Special Topics In Calamity Physics uses the name of a great literary work for each chapter’s title. The chapter’s themes and story development, I’m told, then connect to the referenced text. On the prose level, Marisha Pessl makes constant allusions and citations, some of which I get and many of which I probably don’t even notice. I like the book so far, and I feel satisfied when I understand a reference. Yet I want to know what I’m missing.

I’ll take the GRE General Test in October. But to prepare for standardized testing, and out of curiosity, I’m trying the practice exam for the GRE Subject: English test. Between this and Special Topics In Calamity Physics, the world of literature looks daunting. Still, I wonder how much the great writers read. Or great thinkers. Not that I’ll be either of those, but how important is it to cover the canon?

Fight or Flight

The adrenaline exhausted me the first time I sparred. Half my energy went to held breath and tense muscles. I had to relax, stay loose, but I also needed to stop turning away when overwhelmed with punches. Sparring showed me my instinct: when I didn’t have time to think, I chose flight over fight.

I didn’t like my instinct, so I trained. The turning away kept up for a couple of weeks, rearing (or hiding) its ugly head when a sparring partner put on a lot of pressure. Eventually, though, I learned to stay in there. Get hit. Block. Effectively cover up, and try to read what was coming. I never got any good at it, but at least I was fighting.

Last Summer's Writing

How many times have I told you
to dance along the bridge
like the water underneath:
if the rock’s too big, go around
or go over the top and churn

How many times have I told you
that I can’t fully express myself -
like a whistling kettle whose
shrill cry belies the boiling
belly and churning steam

How many times have I told you
to look up at the sky
like a monk who
meditates on death and compassion
and circles that you can see only half of.

Ragamuffin

Today I filled out two applications to work as a firefighter – one for the City of Williamsburg, and the other for James City County (which is basically just Williamsburg, but because of Colonial Williamsburg the city limits don’t include the entirety of “Williamsburg”). I’ll be happy to work as a firefighter, though my lack of prior experience and training makes it an unlikely prospect.

I’ve also applied for...

Executive Assistant: Alumni Association at William & Mary
Office Manager: Center for Gifted Education at William & Mary
Anything: Trader Joe’s
Anything: Buon Amici (good Italian restaurant)
High School English Teacher: Williamsburg Public Schools
Middle School English Teacher: Williamsburg Public Schools
Anything: Barnes & Noble
Anything: Williamsburg Post Office (not hiring)

So far, no good. And I even got a haircut to look more professional. I have, however, been able to fill up the days with applications, resumes, cover letters, references, letters of recommendation, transcripts, etc.

Comment Casser une Toilette (Pt. 1)

The lid for the toilet’s tank was off cause the regular flush handle broke; you had to pull the flapper valve when you’d finished. I knew this. But, mind fogged by Halloween fun, I didn’t see which part was the flapper valve. Three choices: something on the left, something in the center, and something to the right. I didn’t take much time to look.

The plastic cover tore when I pulled on the floater. Water blasted through the small hole I’d created. With all that pressure in so little space, it soaked the ceiling, the walls, my shoulders and hair. I pinched the hole closed. The water couldn’t come out, but neither could I. Stuck in the bathroom at a party in a foreign country at four in the morning. I heard “Paint It Black” through the bathroom door.